"Dear diary"

[Crowella]

More of an update. As a result of the infection rubbing on my spine and muscles, I've been getting pains in my arms, chest, stomach and heart (not affecting my heart though, which is good) so I'm not working at all now and I've had to change medications, one of which made me faint at the doctors yesterday!

If this new medication doesn't work to reduce the inflammation quicker, they'll have to use steroids as a last resort but at least the doctor has said I've got nothing to worry about other than sorting out the pains. Could actually be the 3-6 months of infection like they said.

[XYY]

Get well soon! That pain doesn't sound very good, if it even keeps you from working... Hopefully you find a good medication.

[Crowella]

Another update.

Still been experiencing these chest pains. About 100% certain it isn't my heart after all but it could actually be because of my stomach and a reaction my stomach had to the pain medication. This is because for the last month I've been vomiting and feeling faint but now I seem to be getting better...

I just started "anxiety" medication two nights ago so I am able to sleep at night. So far, it's made me really tired (13hrs sleep! instead of the <4hrs I was getting when I am sick) but I'm feeling a bit better now. I've at least hopped on my bike since then and gone for rides but still not well enough to work.

Basically, I'm getting better but very slowly. Which is good because I've seen way too many doctors and hospitals for my liking.

[LongBow]

@ Crowella

Did you had any bad periods in your life lately? Maybe the source of all evil is just good old stress which can shows in various physical forms in your body.

I'm asking this because a year ago I had similar problems. I was about 3 months at home not working and no doctor had any clue what could be wrong with me.
My personal conclusion was that I just "burned out" and I needed time to get myself back together.

[Crowella]

The "mental" problem is likely to extend to the first time I experienced the pain about 3 months ago and the possibility that I lost my grandfather two years ago to a heart aneurism. This is the first time I've ever had any mental issue so I'm working on getting through it by taking time off work and staying at my father's house every few days to relax.

In really good news, I just got approved to do full time study in Computer Science, officially ending my time studying as a Mechanical Engineer, which was becoming a huge strain so now I'm doing something more enjoyable.

[The Noose]

I haven't really been very active because I'm fulfilling my conscription. It's been quite interesting, and well pretty annoying at sometimes. But man's gotta do what man's gotta do!

[Emil Patanen]

But man's gotta do what man's gotta do!

NO! Man's not gotta do what man's gotta do!

Man's gotta do what man wanna do!

[Rendy]

I guess I'm not exempt from getting a Typhus. Months ago, it was my father who got one and now... I guess I'm missing lots of things then other than drinking lots of water and bedrest...

And that also means I'm going to miss two final rounds of AIOC then...

[Crowella]

I hope you get well soon Rendy. Shame that you got it too. Bed rest and water does wonders.

Update on my health: Two weeks ago, they found what has been making me sick. Reflux, Gastritis (burnt stomach) and severe anxiety. I am actually doing quite well, despite breaking up with my partner and having this illness which gets me every day still, but only at strange times for a short while.

I'm now studying full time and managing both of my parents businesses on weekends so I'm keeping quite busy which is helping me more than medicines are. The only issue I have now is my body only gets the amount of sleep it needs which means I actually get more time awake but it means I wake up too early (3am instead of 5:30am) so I need to train myself to sleep in or get to bed later, which is difficult because the medicines make me really tired and fall asleep (one night, even at my desk).

Breaking up with my partner was extremely difficult. She refused to move out of my own home so for a few nights, I had to stay at friends places until she eventually got out. I have to laugh that my first night alone was spent with my best friend and two girls from Finland, watching the Ice Hockey between Finland and Sweden (they were pretty too, btw ). Now I have the room back to myself, it is a lot more relaxing so when I get spare time, expect some tracks/cars. Might also do some apps for GR2.0 when more information is released (ties in with my degree).

It's difficult because I cannot drink coffee, alcohol or eat fruit or sauces (too much acid) so I have a pretty boring diet but now I've been putting weight back on. This means I can start riding again without fear of losing too much weight so finally, on the mend.

Basically, if you fear you suffer from anxiety, go see your doctor and/or a counsellor/psychologist. The amount of help that someone else can give you does so much and for me, it put my life back on track, in a better spot than it was before. I still have a way to go but to not be fearing I'm going to die any second is a pretty amazing feeling and I feel more motivated than ever to do things. You may even expect me in Europe later this year, cycling through most of it.

Suppose I should finish those F1 1992 cars.

[AleksiNir]

Really great to hear you're doing better Crowella.

Some big things happening right now in my life too. Like The Noose, I'm going to start my military service in July. (in Kajaani) I'm not exactly excited about it but it should be fine.
My high school final exams are starting next week, although the first part of them was in autumn. The autumn tests went great, I got E (which is the equivalent of 9 in the 4-10 scale, though I don't know how widely that scale is used ) in history and English. In the next couple of weeks I'll do the Finnish, physics, advanced maths and social studies exams. I haven't studied very hard so we'll see how it'll go...
I also sent my applications for university yesterday. I applied for history and IT in Jyväskylä university, but I'll most likely end up with history.

[FRUKIScze]

@Rendy: Hope you get well soon
@Crowella: Great to hear you're doing better...wait AleksiNir said the same
@AleksiNir: If you get grade E, it's ok if you pass it

[AleksiNir]

@AleksiNir: If you get grade E, it's ok if you pass it

It's not the same E as in most places, as you probably figured out I actually never realized how much these Finnish grades are in contradiction with those used in most places. Here A is actually the worst passable grade More can be read here, if interested.

[FRUKIScze]

So you need A in secondary and 5 in primary school to pass?

[1nsane]

Yeah, exactly. And during the normal exams/classes in the secondary school it's also 4-10 scale. But because it's so cool and high class to have the final exam rating based to latin words, you get this derpy scaling which makes just no sense.
And when you get to university/Uni. of applied sciences level, the grading can be 0-5 (I had this one), or even 0-2 which was apparently used in an university my relative took.
Consistency, yay!

@Crovella: Great to... Oh god damnit I'm saying the same thing. Shame about the breaking up part, I guess that's one of the side effects of long diseases..
@Rendy: Ouch, get well soon.

Anyways, on my side... I graduated from the University of Applied Sciences during the christmas season. Been unemployed after that. It's just silly how hard it is to get a job here these days. I've been to job interviews on average once a week, but it's pretty difficult to get the spot when you have many ex-Nokia people and every other possible programmer fighting for the same spots. Although the interviews today and yesterday were promising ones. Today's place is even located in the same city where I live, about 5 minutes on car, so it would be a pretty sweet place even if it was just a training job. Fingers crossed that something might change soon.

[marass]

Something deeply different. I understand all yours problems,.. get a job, get well, (OK, I hope you get everything you want)

But me.

Damm you procrastination!! I am pretty sure I am procrastinator. What am I doing here again? And on FB again? You should do SOČ (High school science work, something like Bachelor work, but for high schools only). I should buy some book about ending this! You know,.. when I realise(mostly in bed) I suddenly fall into deep depression, what I supposed to do, but I did not done it. It is horrible. I want to train for GTT, but, luckily, I did not start yet. When I will start, it will catch me and I will do nothing else.

So, guys, have you got any tips for my problem?

[XYY]

@marass: Hmm, I'm certainly not having as much trouble with it as you seem to have, but it helped me to actually plug off the internet cable (or even the power cable ). Also be sure if you have to use the PC for uni work, that there are no desktop shortcuts to the places which distract you from doing the work.

@Rendy, I hope you get well soon.

[Crowella]

Marass, if it helps, I'm typing this as I do an assignment (that I got today, that's due in two weeks and I'm almost done, shh!) so I suppose this is procrastination...

The best thing to do is to get things done like study and assignments as soon as possible and get as much of it out of the way as you can. This takes a lot off your mind and you'll find you will enjoy your relaxation time a lot more and not need as much of it. One thing that helps is to learn how to "enjoy" studying. It's a rather difficult thing to do, but thinking about what you learn and how to apply it in the real world helps quite a lot.

Giving yourself a calm, clean place to work with few distractions also helps a lot. Strangely, exercise and good diet also helps in that department.

I used to be absolutely horrible with doing work outside of school/uni. It was only until I started failing at Uni that it was my fault for not putting in the effort. I don't want to make that same mistake again.

[AleksiNir]

Giving yourself a calm, clean place to work with few distractions also helps a lot.

This. Back in autumn I had an assignment that was due the next day and it was still terribly under way. I stayed at the school and worked on the assignment after everyone else had gone home, and there was nothing at all to distract me or lure me to do something else. I was surprised how productive I was that day, compared to my usual productiveness with school work. I think I did more progress in the 3 hours or so than I had done in total at home in the past few weeks.

I'm planning to study for the exams in the library, which should be an ideal location for effective studying. I've just got to get my lazy butt up and actually go there some day...

[marass]

Well, guys,.. it is 3.15 am (CET) and I am done with that work! Due is today , at 7.30 am (CET). I will take your advices, I hope it will help me. I think I will sleep well, but only for 3 hours,.. but who cares? I am in fact ill, so I can sleep all the morning, after I give it to teacher.

Crowella: I know, I have to do it,.. I know I have no time left, but I do not want to do it. That is my problem. But I will do some timetable maybe. E.g. Now study, but then you will get free time. But after that at certain time, you have to study again! No exceptions!

[FRUKIScze]

And now jump into GTT training!

[marass]

FRUKIScze: Roger that, my boss!

[marass]

Well, my "doing after that" is better! But, what I wanted to write? I have final driving lesson tommorow, if I pass, I will get the driving license. I think I am quite good. Yes, today were some minor problems, eg. I overtake cyclist on zebra crossing, or it engine stops working (I do not know how to translate, in Czech: car dies) I take less gas than I should. And there was close missing with one car, but it was just not big distance enough.

[FRUKIScze]

Well, my "doing after that" is better! But, what I wanted to write? I have final driving lesson tommorow, if I pass, I will get the driving license. I think I am quite good. Yes, today were some minor problems, eg. I overtake cyclist on zebra crossing, or it engine stops working (I do not know how to translate, in Czech: car dies) I take less gas than I should. And there was close missing with one car, but it was just not big distance enough.

You are racing here and still have no driving license? GOOD LUCK MARASS!

[marass]

Yep, FRUKIScze! I am rebel!

Another famous quote from Czech movie,

I hope everything will be good tommorow, I am bit afraid of it, but I hope, there will be no problems. I have wrote down most important things I need to know(no cheat sheet, but just important things, eg. need to shift to 2nd gear when going on junction)

I am always afraid about something, when I do not know what to expect.

[TuomoH]

You are racing here and still have no driving license?

I don't have a driving license either.